


Solitary

by Sakura0617



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Gen, life - Freeform, musings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 17:22:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5710777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sakura0617/pseuds/Sakura0617
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Natsume loves the process of disappearing, into the beauty of the moment"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Solitary

Admist the sunbeams and damp patches of grass, at the edge of the forest is one of Natsume’s favorite hideaways. Here he can hear the wind rustle his hair, feel its feather light kisses brush across his eyelashes. He is alone, and it is strangely intimate. Beside the swamp, Natsume has nothing save the company of himself, and a single lotus in bloom. 

In the solitude of nature Natsume’s always felt comfortable, as if he had always been a part of the earthy trees and warm light, its all pervasive - stillness. As if Natsume with a head and eyes and heart never existed, save in the eyes of the flowers, in the heart of the forest. Natsume loves the process of disappearing, into the beauty of the moment.

But in the solitude of nighttime sometimes Natsume is fitful. The solitude is unsettled and lonely. Like loneliness in the middle of a crowd of people, loneliness in the fear that he is not like others, loneliness of society. The type of loneliness that is artificial, construed by man, and not nature. For Natsume, during the night loneliness is distorted, like the shadows on his walls becoming larger than life.

But in the solitude of a quiet morning Natsume is sometimes relaxed, peaceful even. There is a quality of detachment, and Natsume drinks in the silence, holds it at the tip of his tongue, savory, then swallows. He feels the taste of it sink in, until he is armored with a quietness inside of him that allows him to get through the rest of the day. 

Detachment like this is a constant in Natsume’s life. And sometimes, most of the time, Natsume detaches from life, like water slipping through still fingers, like people and places are memories as they are happening to him- simultaneous. At other times, life happens so slowly, is a painful and all too drawn out wound. 

Sitting by the edge of a pond, in this still forest, Natsume sometimes comes to a conclusion. Life is made of dualities. People, like youkai, live in water clawing their way through the mud. As they grow older the fear and doubt, turn from soft mud into hard, brittle clay. But maybe, once in a while, petals bloom pure white and from the grime rises a single lotus. So Natsume hopes, at the end of his life, he can feel soft petals brush against his cheeks, and it doesn’t even have to be a grand moment, just a quiet, simple one.

**Author's Note:**

> Random little drabble, not even sure if it makes sense ^^;; but its based more on the feeling this series gives me than anything more concrete, like plot D: But hope you enjoyed it anyways~~


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